running with ghosts

The following post I actually wrote on the 12th, nearly two weeks ago. I have been intending to get it posted ever since. I have not re-read it since. I am choosing not to because I would edit it in some way and am afraid I'd loose the flavor of that moment in time. Since the 12th of June, I have reached a much more challenging phase in my training. My knees hurt and I struggle to get myself out for a run everyday. (That is not to say there are not days I can not wait to put on my shoes and get out the door.) I was studying the 18 week plan and realized I am going to have to dedicate A LOT of time and energy toward training in August and September. I won't say I'm down on the idea; the magnitude of what training for a marathon means is starting to sink in. I'm starting to find ways to keep myself motivated. This week is a step-back week in mileage, which is helping both the knees and motivation. I've been invited to run the Mt. Misery relay on a team next weekend. It all keeps me going. And let's face it, I feel good about myself after every run, and think I am starting to look better than every despite the fact I keep adding 1-2 lbs every week. I ought to just throw the scale out.

12 June

I made it through week 1! As mentioned before I am following Hal Higdon’s 18 week program, so it is just the start. I’m feeling good about it though. I did make one minor adjustment, however. I did my 8 miler on Saturday, in the early evening rain instead of the mild and beautiful Sunday. My intent was to run the running path so that I had mile markers to pace myself off of. I think I ran the one 4 mile stretch (out and back) that didn’t have a single marker! It was an enjoyable run despite the rain and lack of mile markers because it ran my right though town and the UI campus where I ran regularly for 4 years! Some things have changed, some have not. At moments I felt 19 and invincible again. However, I made sure I took it easy not to burn myself out and have to stop for a break. I turned around at 38 minutes and made it back to the car by 1 hour 11 minutes. I guess I didn’t push it too hard going out, but I’m not entirely convinced I did a full 8 miles at about a 9 minute pace. I thought I would be much slower than that. I was more frustrated by having to run on pavement with my broken down training shoes (on my “to purchase” agenda) than I was at not being able to catch my pace. Oh well, there is a 9 miler in order for this weekend and my wonderfully supportive husband has agreed to drive out the miles on a dirt road for me!

The reason for switching-up Saturday and Sunday’s run was so I could meet a college friend of mine in town for a visit. We ran together throughout our freshman year. It is really the foundation of our friendship. She is another blond named Jen that I have not talked to in years. Noticing any patterns? It was terrific getting her message that she would be in town and wanted a reunion run. We caught-up on life and then headed to brunch with our significant others and some wonderful friends of hers that she was visiting while in the area.

Jen and I did a half-marathon together in April of 1996. I still have the T-shirt. Oh memories. We had to find someone willing to give us a ride to the race (neither of us owned car), about a ½ hour away, at 7 am, and with an inch of fresh snow that morning. Fellow dorm residents already thought we were nuts because we got up early one day on spring break just so we could run to Pullman (about 7 miles?) and back, which made it easier to convince our driver (Dan) that we were serious and not joking.

That reminds me, last night I sat down to dive into reading Marathon and had a riot reading Chapter 4. It is a series of quotes non-runners say to crazy marathoners. One of my favorites was a quote that a runner received from a co-worker about how boring long runs must be, just after explaining how he spent his weekend in a deer stand for 9 hours! It hit home because my husband hunts and I run, and just respect each other for it. One quote reminded me of the time I had a polite man tell me I must be dense in response to my answer when he asked how much I weighed. The more enjoyable part of the whole episode was watching him back his way out of a comment like that!

Yup, so I have gained nearly 5 pounds in the past two weeks. I guess I’m running enough to build and apatite now. It is not all bad, but I rather enjoyed being at my steady 125 lbs for the past several years. I was a steady 137 lbs from about the time I was 17 years old until I fell very ill my senior year of college. I guess I knew that the weight would come back some day. I guess I also knew that it would come back the minute I started “really training” again. (I was running college cross-country and track when I fell ill.) I’m also discovering I should not have gotten rid of all my “running pants.” My current wardrobe consists of several pairs of straight-legged fitted slacks that looked great. This week every time I put them on, however, all I see are bulging quads. I’ve heard of “apple-shaped” and “pear-shaped” people, but now I wonder what I am. I should clarify that this weight gain and larger legs did not happen overnight. Although I have only been formally training for the marathon for a week, I have been preparing for training since February by working out several times a week for at least 35-40 minutes and getting in at least one hour-long run a week since April. Pardon me: I realize that in a very snooty way I just bragged because I have found that I can (and am proud of it) gain muscle mass!